My daughter just cried during a Christmas commercial and then asked Why do they do that?Welcome to commercialism, kiddo. My kids just discovered they can watch YouTube on the hotel tv, so this vacation is over, One way to get coworkers to back off is to pull out your phone and say here let me show you my 7YO doing a left handed cartwheel. Jan 13, 2023, 03:53 PM EST. Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. Why won't you let me live my life" years old. My wife and I agreed to no gifts for our wedding anniversary, which is why Im out shopping right now. My 5 year old squeezed my hand and said Daddy, I dont do busy and Ive never related to him more, Ive never met a better negotiator than a kid who doesnt want to go to sleep. I can't wait until the kids get home to try this tactic again. told someone i was 36 today. My parenting style right now is like gentle parenting, gentle parenting, gentle parenting, IM CANCELLING CHRISTMAS!! I must be some type of ninja. Parents Here are the 23 funniest parents on social media this week These are the moms and dads who made us laugh out loud. If you are a mom it means sometimes you feel bad about throwing away sticks. I googled juvenile psychopathy, my husband interrogated our kid. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Lets see how this plays out. That is the question that so many twenty-somethings and thirty-somethings grapple with, and it's a lot harder to answer than you'd think. Sure, we all know that you're going to be sleep-deprived once you start popping them out. But most of all I'm teaching my kids to read so they won't ask "What does XJ49PB2 spell?" ". The Dad @thedad My wife and I are starting an Escape Room franchise where groups. Babies sometimes just happen to people, and that's that. He calls rotisserie meat chicken. Their little bodies can barely hold so much anticipation, which leads to a lot of frantic energy coming your way. Me: You dont want to be called Canaan anymore? 97% of parenting is just saying "oh wow" to your kid when they do something totally not wow. This episode is an entire recording of the livestream broadcast over YouTube including audience + listener questions. My 7yo: Daddy could you move over youre sitting in my imaginary dogs spot. Wish I was rich enough to hire someone to read the school emails so I could focus on being a parent. I am sometimes shocked at how ungrateful my kids can act. I picked up some socks off the floor and my 4yo said, I was just going to do that. Now Im waiting for him to start asking why there are so many lights on in this house, My 5yo was pretty pissed when he learned that his water shoes werent for walking on the water but in it, Spent the day doing all the things around the house that my wife usually does and now I understand why she finds murder documentaries so therapeutic. 4yo: mom the whistle makes my brain hurt me: same4yo: *blows whistle again*, my six year old wanted me to pretend to be her mom and i said i am your mom and she said but like, a cool young fun mom im glad i tore up my body to birth her just to get shredded to pieces like that. It was a station wagon. Told my toddler she can't say fuck anymore so now she says "what the cocomelon" and honestly that should catch on, Grew up listening to Indian mythology. MY SON SPILLED A BOTTLE OF GLITTER IN OUR LIVING ROOM HOW WILL WE EVER RECOVER FROM THIS. before becoming a parent i didn't know i could ruin someone's life by providing them with food, water, juice, clothes, entertainment and shelter for free. Not today, tho. James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2023. him: the hard egg with no skin and hair. The 50 best and funniest tweets of 2022 > Life > Digital Culture The world might be burning, but at least we have tweets. The Funniest Parenting Tweets Of the Week (May 21, 2022) Time flies when you're having "fun." That's what I've been thinking to myself as I am reminded that I'm a childless 33 year old woman. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. It can be hard to pull kids and teenagers away from their phones and actually hang out with their families during the holidays, but when you can, it's all worth it. Parenting tip: For a teething infant, call grandma and tell her to pick up the kid. She wanted grandchildren, right? Kelsey Borresen 12/28/2022. Although it cost a lot, it was worth it to see their faces be amazed at the infinite wonders of the child play area at the back, A haunted house but its just my toddler following me around saying I can do it myself over and over. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. My mom told me I needed to learn how to relax more so I dropped my kids at her house. Today, he said Walnuts instead of Walmart & I might have to let this one slide. To that end, every week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Tweet. Every time I think I'm childproofing by putting something out of reach my toddler is just like, 'LEVEL UP!'. #1 You won't. Start packing. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Had I upset her? Took kids swimming and there were loads of people there. This time of year can be highly stressful, and there are very few things that can calm down kids who are so excited about Santa Claus. Ppl w babies: I dont see why people stop traveling when they have kids! Find out what flavor of ice cream your kids hate and learn to love it. "Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice". Its like they dont even appreciate this plastic bag full of hundreds of other plastic bags Ive saved for them to inherit someday. Offered my daughter an apple and instead of just answering she said cows make milk, bees make honey and apples make pies like she was citing from some kind of Kindergarten Oracle. every time we pass another car on the road. Wishing you all a good weekend! Feeding, loving, cleaning up after, playing with and providing for their little ones. It's that time of the yearthe kids are out of school, and they are going hog wild. Thank you. So I guess were business associates now. This week you'll brew potions, wish upon Unicorns, defeat Dragons, and negotiate with the Fey to become a legend in your own right. After giving him a blank stare he said I want white fluffy cock & balls and omg Ive never been so happy to let a toddler throw cotton balls all over my floor. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. I'm "you bitches", Kids be like, We interrupt your sleep to bring you this important message: My blanket fell off., Nothing about parenting has prepared me for the moment my 5yo said his favourite song was Who Let The Dogs Out, My teen just let me know hes never speaking to me again. So each week, we round up the most hilarious quips from parents on Twitter to spread the joy. Prayers for my distraught 5yo whose pet ice cube just melted in his apple juice. Once your kid can pump their legs on the park swings, the second half of your life begins. My 2yo made it through a 2 hour drive, a 2 hour wait at the airport where he read a book quietly to himself, an hour flight where he happily watched Finding Nemo on silent, a bus ride where he laughed the whole time, and then screamed the entire 15 min drive home in our own car. I sent my daughter a text and she responded with I will look into this. BuzzFeed Staff . The American Psychological Association says that it's perfectly normal if the holiday season brings moms and dads not only an increased sense of family responsibility but also additional stress: the joys of the season can seem lost on them as they run around from one place to the next, trying to do even more than usual. Part of HuffPost Parenting. Students arriving at 8:26 will be late. my lip balm twisted all the way with no cap, rocks. Emptying my pockets before laundry: some tissues, a receipt, huh, thought my lip balm was in there. Thoughts and prayers at this difficult time. My 3 yr old asked if He could play with some cock & balls. 8yo: daddy whats your best talent?me: hmm I dont know, maybe being a dad?8yo: no thats not it. My 5yo asked for hot sauce on his dinner. And then they hit you with the side effects, most of which would only make us more depressed. 4 says all these cars are in line for gas. The potato masher was stopping me from opening the drawer. 10: I just read that you have fingertips but not toe tips yet you can tiptoe but not tip finger. Helping in the kitchen this morning. My 4-year-old says the wrong name for many things. . I wish my 5yo could tell me something without saying daddy, can I tell you something?. Dimples are just the cutest thing! "Time is a human construct." We rounded up some of the funniest recent parenting tweets we could find, and they are all parts hysterical: 1. A. A KAZOO. Look dad, that star is glitching.We used to call that twinkling but ok. My 5 yo lost her first tooth and wanted to bring her tooth fairy swag to school to flex on her friends. 75 of the Funniest Tweets on the Internet Kelly Kuehn Updated: Jan. 31, 2022 via @oliviawilde/twitter, Getty Images You'll be retweeting these hilarious posts in no time. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. What I say: Be ready, we are leaving in five minutes.What the child hears: Get undressed. 107d ago today / Parents Here are the 24 funniest parents on. Each week, the dads of Twitter give us a heaping helping of highly-relatable laughs and dad jokes.Whether they're sharing funny puns, their kids' most hilarious quips, or questionable parenting moments, we simply cannot get enough.Here's to another glorious week of parenting tweets by dads - we've rounded up 10 of our favorites for a bit of much-needed comic relief. when you have a baby they give a lot of breastfeeding advice but tonight I learned they should REALLY give advice about what the fuck to say when your 4 year old asks what happens when we die, parenting is having a phone contact list filled with names like amy-baileysmom, Theres sibling rivalry, then theres my 4-year-old daughter faking a phone call from her one-year-old brothers nursery to tell us that we dont have to collect him today because hes going to live there now and he wont even miss us. You can just strap the baby in and GO hiking! Tie-dye. Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! Scroll down to read the latest batch, and follow @HuffPostParents on Twitter for more! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. That evening I asked if she was ok and she really opened up and admitted that she thought I was really embarrassing. My twins got a goodbye book from their nursery school because its their last day and all the other kids wrote them messages and one girl just wrote Im scared and Im crying. Image via @softbalIs on Twitter. My 7yo asked Tessas parents if they drive dead people around. I just instructed my 4YO to be reasonable so make sure youre following me for all the best parenting tips. Nothing prepared me for the stage where I'd randomly turn around to find my 1yo crouching Gollum-style on the table, eating his siblings leftovers as if I never feed him. Caroline Bologna Nov 11, 2022, 09:00 AM EST | Updated Nov 11, 2022 Kids may say the darndest things, but parents tweet about them in the funniest ways. While teaching your teen to drive just know it's totally normal if you keep having flashbacks of the time they rode their tricycle over their sibling. Me: Its 6 am. My toddlers plan for today is to throw snowballs at all the peoples so Im really looking forward to picking her up from daycare later, My 6-year-old asked, "why are they called speed bumps if they slow you down, they should be called slow bumps" & it's seriously amazing how someone with a 10-second attention span is so insightful, *giving my birthdate at the pharmacy9: mom were you born in the 1900s?me: dont ever speak to me that way again, I knew my 5yo was growing up too fast when he tried to take his shoes off and said I dont like bending down anymore, 6YO: i need to tell you something *tells me something i already know*ME: yeah i know6YO: but i need to tell you 100 more times. My 5yo son: mommy, Im Ashley. Now when my toddler pees through a diaper my 4yo comforts him by telling him, its okay, mommy does it too.. Something out of school, and follow @ HuffPostParents on Twitter to spread the joy when they have kids 's! Of funny parent tweets this week 2022 there? 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